Casting all my Cares

I have been really down lately and have been really good at trying to cover it up...except for the few in my innermost circle who I truly feel safe to share with. Today I have received a blessing from the Lord through my best girlfriend, Kim, and then through a sermon by Jack Graham on the radio this afternoon. I don't know why it still surprises me that God cares enough to answer my cries and pleas to him when I feel like I am in the dessert and wilderness, but I'm so thankful for his faithfulness and unconditional love for me.

Sheep are not the smartest animals that God created, and need some major love and caring for. I remember from my childhood hearing about how the shepherd cares for his sheep. He knows how many sheep are in his flock and can even call them by name. He leads them through the gate to safety, and out to green grass and still waters to give them nourishment and rest. He goes out in front of them to make a safe path for them, and they follow him because they KNOW his voice. When one little sheep wanders off the path towards the greener grass it may think they it is safe to separate from the flock for a little while...I can always go back, or at least it is feeling selfish and wanting all the grass to it's self...non the less after a while it realizes that it has now wandered too far and it can't even hear the shepherd, or see the shepherd and flock from all the darkness.

It's in this darkness that the fear can grip you to the point of depression, and your head just spins not knowing which way is up. How many times have I found myself day after day waking up to another new day just trying to hear my shepherd's voice again. I can tell you dehydration sets in quickly and it feels like you may not make it back. The storms of life surge all around and its just plum scary. The enemy wants me to think that I am the only one experiencing this and that how horrible am I for being in this dark place AGAIN called wilderness.

On the radio today Jack Graham said that some sheep are prone to wander and that the shepherd sometimes HAS to break the sheep's leg in order to MAKE it not wander off. He doesn't leave it broken though...he restores it and allows it to heal hopefully teaching the sheep to stay safe and find peace by the shepard's side. This is where I have found myself....broken....weary....thirsty and hungry for the true peace that can only come from my shepherd.

When the shepherd counts his sheep at nightfall and realizes that one is missing...he will go out and search for that sheep and bring it back to safety. He cares so much for each one. I think we begin to believe the enemies lies that we are that one sheep that he isn't going to come for and that he doesn't really care for....wrong...so wrong! Praise God that he loves us with a love that we will never fully grasp or understand. No matter how far we have wandered, how long we have wandered, or how many times we have wandered....HE WILL NEVER STOP COMING FOR US!!! He will allow something to break us though so that we will have to look up. Jack said something about a sheep being cast down on it's back with all fours sticking up in the air, and the only thing to flip it right side up is the shepard. That's where I have been knocked down and sprawled out, wind knocked out of me, and my precious shepherd has come today to pick me back up.

I have been searching for happiness and understanding, but all I really need to search for is HIS righteousness. Matthew 6:33 has a whole new meaning to me today...Seek first his kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. These things being the things that we really need in this life...not the things that we THINK we need or deserve. It is in HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS that I will find true peace. 1 Peter 5:6-7 says Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety and cares on him because he cares for you!

I have been not only a sheep prone to wander from my shepard, but also like to put up a good struggle and make things harder than they really have to be when he is trying to save me.

Father forgive me for being such a subborn and hard-headed little sheep. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.....I have been humbled O LORD and I praise you even in the midst of this. Thank you for your daily willingness to restore my soul! I know it is in this struggle that I am being made strong, firm and steadfast.